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Published On: Feb 08, 2004 09:32 AM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Feb 08, 2004 09:32 AM
Sun - February 8, 2004
Trying to reach a balance
I feel guilty about not being able to return to my
fairly consistent once-a-day blog posting rate. But rather than blame it on
disorganization or lack of motivation, I think it's more appropriate to blame it
on a principle success: my 2004 goal of balancing my
life.
A few days after the New Year arrived, my friend Alley and I got together to discuss setting some goals and resolutions for 2004. In fact, I typed up a 2-page (in very small print) list of goals, to-dos, resolutions, and the like. Actually, why don't I just list them here:
Resolved to...
1. Reject the idea that I cannot maintain all major categories (esp. Work, Acting and Body) at the same time, that I have to shelve one to focus on another.
2. Establish a reward system for significant accomplishments and follow through on the rewards.
3. Have home & car clean, laundry washed, and Quicken current every Sunday.
4. Review, revise and reprint goals on the first Sunday of every month.
5. Try and budget a number of hours each week for a different project/item that usually gets neglected. (variation/adjunct) Spend a real amount of dedicated time each week for a purely artistic pursuit. (That should be a major understatement.)
6. Strive to forge bigger, more ambitious goals as they get revised and updated.
7. Ask myself what I'm going to get done at the beginning of each day, and ask myself what I got accomplished at the end of the day. (variation/adjunct) At least for a while, make a point of listing the accomplishments for every day, week, month, regardless of whether they were on any original to-do list.
8. Ask myself once a week "What items am I procrastinating taking the first frightening step on?" and resolve to take that first step.
9. Keep the personal web site ever-changing and growing, and never let it go stale or show signs of neglect.
10. Get a good start to the day.
a. "Dress for Success" and don't walk around in pajamas throughout the day. (Get dressed, showered, etc. by 9.)
b. It's called an alarm clock. Use it
Alley and I have been trying to get together once a week to go over our goals, talk about where we are and what we're going to try to do for the next week. So far we've been able to do this about once every two weeks, but the results are palpable.
Granted, I haven't succeeded at fully accomplishing any of these items, but changing my life is a gradual process. The point is that I think since Alley and I started on this project, we've been getting some real results.
One thing I don't have listed up there (but it's in the longer "goals and to-do" section) is the need to get out and be social. Last year I spent way too much of my time being holed up in my apartment in total "hermit mode" writing about my life and not really living it. I did have some accomplishments last year—getting a pretty decent body put together in the gym, creating a pretty kick-ass website, earning my SAG card and finishing my master's degree—but in many categories—work, finance and social/relationships—if I were to grade myself I would have to give myself a "C-".
Already I'm spending a lot of time with work (the cool new contract programming for a London-based company) and social stuff (getting involved with the local Dean campaign and helping to create the Stonewall Young Democrats) and music (over the last few days I've been spending maybe an hour a day on the guitar).
The guitar stuff has been so cool. Once of the reasons I chose to start learning in (two years ago) was that I wanted to find an instrument that complimented the way I think about music, meaning the way my brain processes music. I've been trained as a [classical] pianist, and although I have a good understanding of theory and ear-training, I had a tendency to see a piece as a collection of individual notes. I was very visual; I saw notes printed on a page and I played them, eventually memorizing what my hands did when, but I never really focused on the sound of the notes. I didn't listen to the chord progressions throughout a piece. I was horrible about playing something "by ear" or recreating a melody that I heard instead of read.
In contrast, the guitar is an instrument based on chords, and there's something about the strings that makes it a very "by ear" instrument. I can play a melody without even being aware of what exact notes I'm playing. The ear just connects to the strings and the frets. Granted, being a lifelong student and an academic purist, I've been spending time learning to read music on the guitar. There's this horrible tendency for written guitar music to be written in something called "tableture" where they write down numbers (which fret) on a six-lined staff that represents the six strings on the guitar. It makes it easy for a beginner to "read music" and sight-read something that's written down, but it creates an inability to actually read real music, and the player has really no idea what notes, scales, chords or arpeggios he or she is ever playing.
Something neat happened yesterday. I was doodling around on my brother's electric guitar that he loaned me (I had it plugged into my Apple PowerBook and GarageBand was simulating a guitar amp with a nice rich sound and a little echo.) and I kind of found this sequence of notes (a scale) that sounded really good. As long as I stayed on this particular scale the melody had this really cool sound to it. I knew it wasn't a standard major or minor scale (primarily because it jumped straight from the tonic to a minor 3rd interval) and it wasn't one of the standard modes (mixolydian, frigian, locrian, etc.) and really I felt like it was something I'd invented; my "ear" had just put it together.
I wrote down the sequence of notes because I didn't want to forget them the next day: E G A (B-flat) D E. I wrote B-flat in parentheses because it kind of sounded like an "added" or "optional" note to the scale.
The, on a hunch, I looked up on the Internet the search words "Blues Scale". You see, I've heard of something called the Blues Scale. Alley's roommate who once tried jamming with me on guitar (I was awful) told me as long as I stayed on this Blues Scale, any solo would sound cool. Well, guess what? Those notes were the exact Blues Scale, and the "added" B-flat was the note that you add to a Minor Pentatonic scale to make it a Blues Scale.
Looks like my ear knew something my brain didn't. That might sound pretty geeky, but I was really psyched when I discovered that.
Well, enough writing. That resolution of having the car and apartment clean every week needs to be tended to. Actually, I've been just trying to get it down to once a month. I took Hedwig (my car) to the carwash yesterday for the February Cleaning, and I've been trying to make some progress with the apartment. In last weeks meeting with Alley I said that this week i would take care of those items, and I want to be able to report on my progress today, so no more time for blog writing!
A few days after the New Year arrived, my friend Alley and I got together to discuss setting some goals and resolutions for 2004. In fact, I typed up a 2-page (in very small print) list of goals, to-dos, resolutions, and the like. Actually, why don't I just list them here:
Resolved to...
1. Reject the idea that I cannot maintain all major categories (esp. Work, Acting and Body) at the same time, that I have to shelve one to focus on another.
2. Establish a reward system for significant accomplishments and follow through on the rewards.
3. Have home & car clean, laundry washed, and Quicken current every Sunday.
4. Review, revise and reprint goals on the first Sunday of every month.
5. Try and budget a number of hours each week for a different project/item that usually gets neglected. (variation/adjunct) Spend a real amount of dedicated time each week for a purely artistic pursuit. (That should be a major understatement.)
6. Strive to forge bigger, more ambitious goals as they get revised and updated.
7. Ask myself what I'm going to get done at the beginning of each day, and ask myself what I got accomplished at the end of the day. (variation/adjunct) At least for a while, make a point of listing the accomplishments for every day, week, month, regardless of whether they were on any original to-do list.
8. Ask myself once a week "What items am I procrastinating taking the first frightening step on?" and resolve to take that first step.
9. Keep the personal web site ever-changing and growing, and never let it go stale or show signs of neglect.
10. Get a good start to the day.
a. "Dress for Success" and don't walk around in pajamas throughout the day. (Get dressed, showered, etc. by 9.)
b. It's called an alarm clock. Use it
Alley and I have been trying to get together once a week to go over our goals, talk about where we are and what we're going to try to do for the next week. So far we've been able to do this about once every two weeks, but the results are palpable.
Granted, I haven't succeeded at fully accomplishing any of these items, but changing my life is a gradual process. The point is that I think since Alley and I started on this project, we've been getting some real results.
One thing I don't have listed up there (but it's in the longer "goals and to-do" section) is the need to get out and be social. Last year I spent way too much of my time being holed up in my apartment in total "hermit mode" writing about my life and not really living it. I did have some accomplishments last year—getting a pretty decent body put together in the gym, creating a pretty kick-ass website, earning my SAG card and finishing my master's degree—but in many categories—work, finance and social/relationships—if I were to grade myself I would have to give myself a "C-".
Already I'm spending a lot of time with work (the cool new contract programming for a London-based company) and social stuff (getting involved with the local Dean campaign and helping to create the Stonewall Young Democrats) and music (over the last few days I've been spending maybe an hour a day on the guitar).
The guitar stuff has been so cool. Once of the reasons I chose to start learning in (two years ago) was that I wanted to find an instrument that complimented the way I think about music, meaning the way my brain processes music. I've been trained as a [classical] pianist, and although I have a good understanding of theory and ear-training, I had a tendency to see a piece as a collection of individual notes. I was very visual; I saw notes printed on a page and I played them, eventually memorizing what my hands did when, but I never really focused on the sound of the notes. I didn't listen to the chord progressions throughout a piece. I was horrible about playing something "by ear" or recreating a melody that I heard instead of read.
In contrast, the guitar is an instrument based on chords, and there's something about the strings that makes it a very "by ear" instrument. I can play a melody without even being aware of what exact notes I'm playing. The ear just connects to the strings and the frets. Granted, being a lifelong student and an academic purist, I've been spending time learning to read music on the guitar. There's this horrible tendency for written guitar music to be written in something called "tableture" where they write down numbers (which fret) on a six-lined staff that represents the six strings on the guitar. It makes it easy for a beginner to "read music" and sight-read something that's written down, but it creates an inability to actually read real music, and the player has really no idea what notes, scales, chords or arpeggios he or she is ever playing.
Something neat happened yesterday. I was doodling around on my brother's electric guitar that he loaned me (I had it plugged into my Apple PowerBook and GarageBand was simulating a guitar amp with a nice rich sound and a little echo.) and I kind of found this sequence of notes (a scale) that sounded really good. As long as I stayed on this particular scale the melody had this really cool sound to it. I knew it wasn't a standard major or minor scale (primarily because it jumped straight from the tonic to a minor 3rd interval) and it wasn't one of the standard modes (mixolydian, frigian, locrian, etc.) and really I felt like it was something I'd invented; my "ear" had just put it together.
I wrote down the sequence of notes because I didn't want to forget them the next day: E G A (B-flat) D E. I wrote B-flat in parentheses because it kind of sounded like an "added" or "optional" note to the scale.
The, on a hunch, I looked up on the Internet the search words "Blues Scale". You see, I've heard of something called the Blues Scale. Alley's roommate who once tried jamming with me on guitar (I was awful) told me as long as I stayed on this Blues Scale, any solo would sound cool. Well, guess what? Those notes were the exact Blues Scale, and the "added" B-flat was the note that you add to a Minor Pentatonic scale to make it a Blues Scale.
Looks like my ear knew something my brain didn't. That might sound pretty geeky, but I was really psyched when I discovered that.
Well, enough writing. That resolution of having the car and apartment clean every week needs to be tended to. Actually, I've been just trying to get it down to once a month. I took Hedwig (my car) to the carwash yesterday for the February Cleaning, and I've been trying to make some progress with the apartment. In last weeks meeting with Alley I said that this week i would take care of those items, and I want to be able to report on my progress today, so no more time for blog writing!
Posted at 09:32 AM Read More
Mon - January 26, 2004
Calm Before the Storm
Tomorrow a great number of things will go into motion.
Today I feel like a person who knows a massive hurricane is sitting a few miles
offshore and it's about to strike. Now is the time to nail boards over windows,
fill sandbags, etc. The literal translation: time to clean the apartment, do
laundry, etc.
Three things start tomorrow:
1. My first solid concrete work with the new client is going to start. I'll have a huge learning curve to climb, and I've got to really pull off some miracles over the next two weeks so they decide to keep me onboard. I REALLY need this contract.
2. There's a lot of work to be done over two weeks to get the local deligate selection caucuses organized. Starting with a teleconference tomorrow everything should launch into high gear, and I suspect many people (myself included) will be getting very little sleep.
3. The New Hampshire Primaries will really tell us if Dean is going to flop, or if he's going to stay a strong contender. If he places a "strong second" than it is up to his army of supporters to shift into high gear and pull off a coup during the first "Super Tuesday" on February 3rd, and throughout the race. If he does as badly as he did in Iowa then really it's all over.
I've got to say this: I'm a much happier person now that I'm busy than when I was sitting in limbo a few months ago. I've got a pretty good litmus test figured out to determine whether I'm doing well, ie. "on the right track", or not: if I wake up in the morning before my alarm goes off, I'm a happy person. If I hit snooze a bunch (or don't set the clock and sleep until 9 or 10) then I'm an unhappy person.
It's amazingly simple, but I think it's a really accurate indicator. This morning I was so anxious and ready to hit the ground running that I just couldn't stay in bed after 6:45am even though the alarm was set for 7. I just had to get up, get the coffee started, and get to work.
I've been getting up at about 6:45am quite a bit in the last week.
Three things start tomorrow:
1. My first solid concrete work with the new client is going to start. I'll have a huge learning curve to climb, and I've got to really pull off some miracles over the next two weeks so they decide to keep me onboard. I REALLY need this contract.
2. There's a lot of work to be done over two weeks to get the local deligate selection caucuses organized. Starting with a teleconference tomorrow everything should launch into high gear, and I suspect many people (myself included) will be getting very little sleep.
3. The New Hampshire Primaries will really tell us if Dean is going to flop, or if he's going to stay a strong contender. If he places a "strong second" than it is up to his army of supporters to shift into high gear and pull off a coup during the first "Super Tuesday" on February 3rd, and throughout the race. If he does as badly as he did in Iowa then really it's all over.
I've got to say this: I'm a much happier person now that I'm busy than when I was sitting in limbo a few months ago. I've got a pretty good litmus test figured out to determine whether I'm doing well, ie. "on the right track", or not: if I wake up in the morning before my alarm goes off, I'm a happy person. If I hit snooze a bunch (or don't set the clock and sleep until 9 or 10) then I'm an unhappy person.
It's amazingly simple, but I think it's a really accurate indicator. This morning I was so anxious and ready to hit the ground running that I just couldn't stay in bed after 6:45am even though the alarm was set for 7. I just had to get up, get the coffee started, and get to work.
I've been getting up at about 6:45am quite a bit in the last week.
Posted at 09:11 AM Read More
Sun - January 25, 2004
Rumors of my Abduction are Highly Exaggerated
CNTRL+ALT+DELETE
My apologies to anyone who had been following my blog and then wondered, "Did he get run over by a taxi back in New York City?" Or maybe it was an Alien Abduction, or even worse: he was abducted by Dean fanatics!
The latter might be closest to the truth.
Actually, I've been working really hard to turn my life around. It hasn't been easy, and so many things are still in disarray, but for the most part I'm rather pleased with what I've been able to do. And I'm going to write about it. I promise. Just as soon as I get some time, which is not now.
You see, there's been so much going on in my mind and in my life that I never felt like I had the time to properly commit it to the blog here, so I kept putting off writing again, which in turn accumulated more stuff I had to write about, which made it that much harder to start up again... You see the pattern.
I'll give a quick set of highlights of the last month's activities and successes:
I rebuilt the server that is hosting so many websites, this one included.
I spent a fair amount of geek time exploring the GNUStep project, which is the next thing I want to write an article about. (That's going to take a lot of time.)
I've gotten into the art of Chinese Cooking. I'm no master yet, but I'm having a hell of a lot of fun.
I've officially filed to re-organize my business (Zone Enterprises) into an S-Corp.
I've got a promising start on a new contract with a company in London working with J2EE (Java 2 Enterprise Edition) which is something I've been wanting to work on more for ages! Now I have an excuse, and I think this contract will let me completely turn around my finances.
I wrote a mega-huge list of New Year's Resolutions, goals, etc. My friend Alley did the same, and we're trying to meet weekly to make sure we're staying on task.
I got back to Los Angeles and decided to hunt down the local Howard Dean movement, specifically the LGBT sub-community. It has led me to house parties, web discussion groups, and I'm rapidly getting involved in more and more activities, including helping to organize the L.A. deligate selection process and joining (I'd almost say co-founding because it's so new, although I have no official title) the Young Stonewall Democrats. I also built their website at http://www.youngstonewalldems.org.
The latter item has been the most exciting and consuming item. Beyond wanting to make a difference in the world, I also have used it as an excuse to get out and meet more people. Hans has been prodding me constantly last year to get out and be more social, but I was becomming a chronic hermet. Since December 30th I've turned on a dime, and now I'm hardly home anymore—especially nights.
Anyway, I've got to go run a Dean table at "The Grove" in 90 minutes, and I haven't eaten or showered yet, so stay tuned and I PROMISE I will return to regular postings.
My apologies to anyone who had been following my blog and then wondered, "Did he get run over by a taxi back in New York City?" Or maybe it was an Alien Abduction, or even worse: he was abducted by Dean fanatics!
The latter might be closest to the truth.
Actually, I've been working really hard to turn my life around. It hasn't been easy, and so many things are still in disarray, but for the most part I'm rather pleased with what I've been able to do. And I'm going to write about it. I promise. Just as soon as I get some time, which is not now.
You see, there's been so much going on in my mind and in my life that I never felt like I had the time to properly commit it to the blog here, so I kept putting off writing again, which in turn accumulated more stuff I had to write about, which made it that much harder to start up again... You see the pattern.
I'll give a quick set of highlights of the last month's activities and successes:
I rebuilt the server that is hosting so many websites, this one included.
I spent a fair amount of geek time exploring the GNUStep project, which is the next thing I want to write an article about. (That's going to take a lot of time.)
I've gotten into the art of Chinese Cooking. I'm no master yet, but I'm having a hell of a lot of fun.
I've officially filed to re-organize my business (Zone Enterprises) into an S-Corp.
I've got a promising start on a new contract with a company in London working with J2EE (Java 2 Enterprise Edition) which is something I've been wanting to work on more for ages! Now I have an excuse, and I think this contract will let me completely turn around my finances.
I wrote a mega-huge list of New Year's Resolutions, goals, etc. My friend Alley did the same, and we're trying to meet weekly to make sure we're staying on task.
I got back to Los Angeles and decided to hunt down the local Howard Dean movement, specifically the LGBT sub-community. It has led me to house parties, web discussion groups, and I'm rapidly getting involved in more and more activities, including helping to organize the L.A. deligate selection process and joining (I'd almost say co-founding because it's so new, although I have no official title) the Young Stonewall Democrats. I also built their website at http://www.youngstonewalldems.org.
The latter item has been the most exciting and consuming item. Beyond wanting to make a difference in the world, I also have used it as an excuse to get out and meet more people. Hans has been prodding me constantly last year to get out and be more social, but I was becomming a chronic hermet. Since December 30th I've turned on a dime, and now I'm hardly home anymore—especially nights.
Anyway, I've got to go run a Dean table at "The Grove" in 90 minutes, and I haven't eaten or showered yet, so stay tuned and I PROMISE I will return to regular postings.
Posted at 08:49 AM Read More
Sat
- December
20, 2003
Between Points in Life
I don't know why, but it is so damned hard to get
anything done when I'm in Colorado. Maybe it's because Mom and I have such a fun
time dinking around, plus there are a zillion things "back home" that Mom waits
for my periodic visits to do.
This time I think it's a cross between that and the fact that I'm simply worn out. Since Wednesday when I was in New York I felt like I was coming down with a Christmas Cold. The odd thing is it was strangely asymptomatic: extreme fatigue and a little drainage that irritated the throat slightly. Thursday I spent the day traveling back to Colorado. At the airport I bought some Nyquil gel tabs and travelled like a semi-conscious zombie. By the time I got to Mom's house I just collapsed into bed and slept 13 hours.
Friday I alternated between sleep and meeting an accountant to discuss how I should incorporate my business. She charges $130 an hour. We power-met for 40 minutes—I do my homework so I don't waste time—and that was a damned good investment. Before Dec 31 I've got to get some turbo-paperwork done!
Friday night my best friend Joe's parents took me out to dinner. David and Mary Alice McComb are simple the coolest people around, and although I haven't seen them much in the last several years, they still are my surrogate parents. They also seemed remarkably excited that their [surrogate] son was becoming a budding political activist. (They are both dedicated Democrats, although I think they haven't been active in a while. Like so many Democrats I think they feel brow-beaten by the constant [losing] battles with the Republican party. Thank God for young energy!) Anyway, they simply inundated me with interesting suggestions of all the various things I could help candidates with, from speech writing to working on the campaign staff, and they even went so far as to suggest I might have fun spending a term in Washington D.C. working on someone's staff.
By the time I left my head was spinning. It was such a hoot to see them. I'll definitely have to make sure I pop in and see them more often!
Saturday morning Mom and I watched Uncovered: The Whole Truth about the Iraq War. This is a documentary that is being promoted by the MoveOn political group. Many of the Dean supporters are ordering this movie and watching it, throwing viewing house parties, etc. Up to this point I was ambivalent—almost nervous—about seeing this movie. You see, I've watched two propaganda films in my life. Both were pretty disgusting experiences. Of course, at the time I had a pretty objective perspective so I was able to see them for what they were: manipulation devices.
The first was a film I saw when I was 14 years old called The Truth about Communism. I worked at a very interesting factory called Woodward Governor. This place was a time warp back into the 50's. Kids working in the yard wore collared shirts, and we had to put on clip-on bow ties when we entered any building, including when going in for lunch. Women were required to wear dresses or skirts—pants were forbidden. They even had a barber show in the plant and everyone had an appointment once every two weeks. The haircuts even made us look like we were in the 50's.
They offered a small number of classes where they would educate us on first aid or some field related to one of the company's divisions. I think during a Summer we'd have maybe four classes total. Well, The Truth about Communism was a pretty long movie; I remember it took two class periods. It was in black & white and was narrated by a rather young Ronald Reagan. This movie was such a blatant work of propaganda it was incredible! They showed us that communist leaders commonly stabbed each other in the back, that communist citizens didn't believe in God. They pulled just shy of suggesting that communist women ate their own young.
The outcry from my class was strong. Ours was the last group of kids to be shown that film.
The second propaganda film was an anti-gay movie. While I was in graduate school I briefly had a roommate Matt Walker. He had recently come out to his parents, who were none too thrilled. His father convinced him to attend an "education program" at their church about homosexuality. Now Matt's a good kid, he didn't like the schism this was creating with his family, and he respected his parents, so he agreed to go.
My gut instinct told me his was about to walk into a pack of wolves so I assisted in joining him. We drove down to either Loveland or Longmont to the church. It turned out the program was being presented by Colorado's own lovely Focus on the Family organization. They did the typical circus show, including inviting an "ex-gay" speaker. This was a young woman who told the audience she used to be gay. She described her deluded gay friends and their lack of focus and understanding. She basically described them as a bunch of naive free-sex hippy type of people. She had enjoyed the debauchery, but found herself spiritually empty. She spoke with pity for these people who could not follow her spiritual path to Jesus Christ. Now she is healed an whole. She doesn't miss the past life, and she only feels pity for her former friends who haven't seen the light.
Then they showed the movie. This was so completely inflammatory! The movie depicted gays as basically morally corrupt people who want to steal away and corrupt your children. They enjoyed filming pride parades and focusing on filming those few people who take things a bit too far and dress and act in ways that would shock an unfamiliar bystander. And the funny thing was every time they showed something (always out of context) that might seem shocking, there would be this dramatic heavy-bass moody background music that would send shivers down your spine and make you think the boogeyman was about to jump out at you.
I watched the church congregation, and I studied their faces. These were decent people who had come because they were concerned and uninformed about what they considered to be an upcoming issue. They came to their church—which they trusted—to be educated. And their church scared them out of their wits. No wonder there's such an anti-gay bias in the world. It just amazes me that churches can preach such a doctrine of hatred. I guess that's why I have a knee-jerk fear of Christians.
Anyway, I was fully aware that Uncovered: The Whole Truth about the Iraq War was a political documentary, which almost by definition makes it a propaganda film. As much as I love being caught up in the swell of self-righteous fighting energy with the Dean activism, I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I allowed myself not to strive to see the whole picture of things. So as much as I wanted to rally totally behind this movie, I also wanted to see if I could detect obvious propaganda manipulation techniques.
I'm afraid I was unsuccessful. Everything the interviewed experts (with very impressive credentials) said mirrored the conclusions that I've been drawing. The material was very well organized, and after seeing it I couldn't help but wonder why George W hasn't been impeached, or at least under very tight and uncomfortable scrutiny. (Answer: Ashcroft.)
I've got a friend back in L.A. who is (shudder) a Republican, but strangely he's also a nice guy and rather intelligent. I'm considering asking if he would sit down with me to watch the film and then point out places in which it may not be showing an objective story. I doubt he will agree, but I think I'll ask him.
This time I think it's a cross between that and the fact that I'm simply worn out. Since Wednesday when I was in New York I felt like I was coming down with a Christmas Cold. The odd thing is it was strangely asymptomatic: extreme fatigue and a little drainage that irritated the throat slightly. Thursday I spent the day traveling back to Colorado. At the airport I bought some Nyquil gel tabs and travelled like a semi-conscious zombie. By the time I got to Mom's house I just collapsed into bed and slept 13 hours.
Friday I alternated between sleep and meeting an accountant to discuss how I should incorporate my business. She charges $130 an hour. We power-met for 40 minutes—I do my homework so I don't waste time—and that was a damned good investment. Before Dec 31 I've got to get some turbo-paperwork done!
Friday night my best friend Joe's parents took me out to dinner. David and Mary Alice McComb are simple the coolest people around, and although I haven't seen them much in the last several years, they still are my surrogate parents. They also seemed remarkably excited that their [surrogate] son was becoming a budding political activist. (They are both dedicated Democrats, although I think they haven't been active in a while. Like so many Democrats I think they feel brow-beaten by the constant [losing] battles with the Republican party. Thank God for young energy!) Anyway, they simply inundated me with interesting suggestions of all the various things I could help candidates with, from speech writing to working on the campaign staff, and they even went so far as to suggest I might have fun spending a term in Washington D.C. working on someone's staff.
By the time I left my head was spinning. It was such a hoot to see them. I'll definitely have to make sure I pop in and see them more often!
Saturday morning Mom and I watched Uncovered: The Whole Truth about the Iraq War. This is a documentary that is being promoted by the MoveOn political group. Many of the Dean supporters are ordering this movie and watching it, throwing viewing house parties, etc. Up to this point I was ambivalent—almost nervous—about seeing this movie. You see, I've watched two propaganda films in my life. Both were pretty disgusting experiences. Of course, at the time I had a pretty objective perspective so I was able to see them for what they were: manipulation devices.
The first was a film I saw when I was 14 years old called The Truth about Communism. I worked at a very interesting factory called Woodward Governor. This place was a time warp back into the 50's. Kids working in the yard wore collared shirts, and we had to put on clip-on bow ties when we entered any building, including when going in for lunch. Women were required to wear dresses or skirts—pants were forbidden. They even had a barber show in the plant and everyone had an appointment once every two weeks. The haircuts even made us look like we were in the 50's.
They offered a small number of classes where they would educate us on first aid or some field related to one of the company's divisions. I think during a Summer we'd have maybe four classes total. Well, The Truth about Communism was a pretty long movie; I remember it took two class periods. It was in black & white and was narrated by a rather young Ronald Reagan. This movie was such a blatant work of propaganda it was incredible! They showed us that communist leaders commonly stabbed each other in the back, that communist citizens didn't believe in God. They pulled just shy of suggesting that communist women ate their own young.
The outcry from my class was strong. Ours was the last group of kids to be shown that film.
The second propaganda film was an anti-gay movie. While I was in graduate school I briefly had a roommate Matt Walker. He had recently come out to his parents, who were none too thrilled. His father convinced him to attend an "education program" at their church about homosexuality. Now Matt's a good kid, he didn't like the schism this was creating with his family, and he respected his parents, so he agreed to go.
My gut instinct told me his was about to walk into a pack of wolves so I assisted in joining him. We drove down to either Loveland or Longmont to the church. It turned out the program was being presented by Colorado's own lovely Focus on the Family organization. They did the typical circus show, including inviting an "ex-gay" speaker. This was a young woman who told the audience she used to be gay. She described her deluded gay friends and their lack of focus and understanding. She basically described them as a bunch of naive free-sex hippy type of people. She had enjoyed the debauchery, but found herself spiritually empty. She spoke with pity for these people who could not follow her spiritual path to Jesus Christ. Now she is healed an whole. She doesn't miss the past life, and she only feels pity for her former friends who haven't seen the light.
Then they showed the movie. This was so completely inflammatory! The movie depicted gays as basically morally corrupt people who want to steal away and corrupt your children. They enjoyed filming pride parades and focusing on filming those few people who take things a bit too far and dress and act in ways that would shock an unfamiliar bystander. And the funny thing was every time they showed something (always out of context) that might seem shocking, there would be this dramatic heavy-bass moody background music that would send shivers down your spine and make you think the boogeyman was about to jump out at you.
I watched the church congregation, and I studied their faces. These were decent people who had come because they were concerned and uninformed about what they considered to be an upcoming issue. They came to their church—which they trusted—to be educated. And their church scared them out of their wits. No wonder there's such an anti-gay bias in the world. It just amazes me that churches can preach such a doctrine of hatred. I guess that's why I have a knee-jerk fear of Christians.
Anyway, I was fully aware that Uncovered: The Whole Truth about the Iraq War was a political documentary, which almost by definition makes it a propaganda film. As much as I love being caught up in the swell of self-righteous fighting energy with the Dean activism, I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I allowed myself not to strive to see the whole picture of things. So as much as I wanted to rally totally behind this movie, I also wanted to see if I could detect obvious propaganda manipulation techniques.
I'm afraid I was unsuccessful. Everything the interviewed experts (with very impressive credentials) said mirrored the conclusions that I've been drawing. The material was very well organized, and after seeing it I couldn't help but wonder why George W hasn't been impeached, or at least under very tight and uncomfortable scrutiny. (Answer: Ashcroft.)
I've got a friend back in L.A. who is (shudder) a Republican, but strangely he's also a nice guy and rather intelligent. I'm considering asking if he would sit down with me to watch the film and then point out places in which it may not be showing an objective story. I doubt he will agree, but I think I'll ask him.
Posted at 08:19 AM Read More
Mon - December
15, 2003
A time of introspection
Yesterday was a lot of fun. I'm so excited to be back
in New York; I really do love this city. There was a snowstorm, and I just had
to go out in it, smiling like an idiot, bouncing in delight, taking in New York
Christmas.
New York City understands Christmas in a very special way, and there's no better place to find the holiday spirit. I can't exactly say why this is. Everywhere else I go in the country December is an "Oh, I guess we should hang some decorations." afterthought. New Yorkers embrace this time, and the feeling becomes contagious. It's much better (in my humble opinion) than people who want to point out that Christmas is (a) a secular Christian "Jesus thing" and (b) co-opted by the American Retail Commercialistic Conspiracy to sell goods. My response: Ba Humbug!
Last night I did what will probably be my one significant bout of drinking in celebration of my new freedom. Let's just say I'm not moving too quickly this morning. Tonight will feature a get-together of my New York Posse at Dale's apartment. It will be so nice to see these people. (I think I'll definitely keep to a minimum number of drinks, however.)
Yesterday was also a time of introspection, given the news of Saddam's capture. Like so many people in the world, I had to take some time to digest the news and ask "Now what?" What I find interesting is how little this really changes anything concrete this world. Saddam had already been neutered. The guerillas were not being organized by him. Unless Bush is able to get him to magically reveal a huge hidden stockpile of WMDs, we will just see a bit show trial, and everyone will try to use this symbolic event to rally political change for better or for worse.
In Iraq the people will be rallied to look to the future, encouraged to take a part in the foundation of their new government. This is good. Back in the USA politicians scurry to create some huge relevance, to make political platforms, take stands, argue new relevancy of new positions, pat themselves on the back, etc. This is silly.
Actually, I see more silliness in the part of the Democratic candidates (except Dean) than in the Bush administration. Let's face it: Bush led our country to pay a great price to have Saddam removed. A really huge price. Here is the payoff, so for today George W gets to have his day in the son. That doesn't change the question of whether the ends justified the means. It doesn't change the fact that we alienated most of the world nations and many people of the world look at the US in fear instead of admiration.
We will never know if the UN would have ultimately been able to bring about a positive change in Iraq on its own, albeit it a slower change. We went in alone, and we were rallied to the cause by lies about vaporous WMDs or the nonexistent "Saddam Bin Laden" connection. Our congress abjugated their authority that was written in the Constitution to prevent a President from yielding too much power. (They also abjugated their role in the 2000 Presidential Election and let the Supreme Court strong-arm the results. But who cares how the Constitution was drawn up. It's just a general guideline anyway, right?)
We will be distracted from these issues by a big showy trial, and once again the American People will be led around by the nose. May the circus begin!
New York City understands Christmas in a very special way, and there's no better place to find the holiday spirit. I can't exactly say why this is. Everywhere else I go in the country December is an "Oh, I guess we should hang some decorations." afterthought. New Yorkers embrace this time, and the feeling becomes contagious. It's much better (in my humble opinion) than people who want to point out that Christmas is (a) a secular Christian "Jesus thing" and (b) co-opted by the American Retail Commercialistic Conspiracy to sell goods. My response: Ba Humbug!
Last night I did what will probably be my one significant bout of drinking in celebration of my new freedom. Let's just say I'm not moving too quickly this morning. Tonight will feature a get-together of my New York Posse at Dale's apartment. It will be so nice to see these people. (I think I'll definitely keep to a minimum number of drinks, however.)
Yesterday was also a time of introspection, given the news of Saddam's capture. Like so many people in the world, I had to take some time to digest the news and ask "Now what?" What I find interesting is how little this really changes anything concrete this world. Saddam had already been neutered. The guerillas were not being organized by him. Unless Bush is able to get him to magically reveal a huge hidden stockpile of WMDs, we will just see a bit show trial, and everyone will try to use this symbolic event to rally political change for better or for worse.
In Iraq the people will be rallied to look to the future, encouraged to take a part in the foundation of their new government. This is good. Back in the USA politicians scurry to create some huge relevance, to make political platforms, take stands, argue new relevancy of new positions, pat themselves on the back, etc. This is silly.
Actually, I see more silliness in the part of the Democratic candidates (except Dean) than in the Bush administration. Let's face it: Bush led our country to pay a great price to have Saddam removed. A really huge price. Here is the payoff, so for today George W gets to have his day in the son. That doesn't change the question of whether the ends justified the means. It doesn't change the fact that we alienated most of the world nations and many people of the world look at the US in fear instead of admiration.
We will never know if the UN would have ultimately been able to bring about a positive change in Iraq on its own, albeit it a slower change. We went in alone, and we were rallied to the cause by lies about vaporous WMDs or the nonexistent "Saddam Bin Laden" connection. Our congress abjugated their authority that was written in the Constitution to prevent a President from yielding too much power. (They also abjugated their role in the 2000 Presidential Election and let the Supreme Court strong-arm the results. But who cares how the Constitution was drawn up. It's just a general guideline anyway, right?)
We will be distracted from these issues by a big showy trial, and once again the American People will be led around by the nose. May the circus begin!
Posted at 11:27 AM Read More
Sat
- December
13, 2003
30,000 feet in the air
I'm currently somewhere over 30,000 feet in the air,
due North of Cleveland and about 475 miles away from New York. They say we
should be arriving at the gate in exactly an hour. The trip has been uneventful
so far—Living
History.
I'm still not sure how I feel about having finally vanquished that master's degree. It's been an ongoing anxiety of mine since almost the day I started it, almost eleven years ago. Back in 1992, having just graduated from Pomona College with some bitter feelings toward the world (which I may get into someday) I had started out with the ambition to be some sort of artist. At the time I thought I would be a musician. I spent an incredible summer proving myself in the corporate world as I tried to summon up enough money to pay to go to a music school.
The (flawed) logic was that in this desired departure from the math/science world that I had spent so many years preparing for, I should pick a strategically familiar medium. I'd studied piano for ten years before college, plus six years playing Trumpet in Junior High and High School, so I figured it gave me a tactical advantage. As I mentioned, I had an incredible summer in San Diego earning money for the upcoming schooling that would lead to my becoming some rock 'n roll star. Yeah right.
That endeavor had been such a failure (the school turned out to be a dumping ground for high school graduates who weren't going to college, whose parents had decided to accommodate, and who needed help learning how to read music. I had gone because I lacked the social skills and wanted to find a place that would help me hook up with people and join a band. It just wasn't a good idea and it only took a few months to realize my folly.
That left me in the dilemma of being a college graduate, supposedly self-sufficient with college loans that would need attention, and with no idea what to do with my life since the "sudden" desire to pursue the arts had already fallen into catastrophe. I fled home to Colorado, and with no better idea, I decided to pursue graduate school. My grades in college hadn't been all that good, so I took up the strategy of taking two (really hard) beginning courses ST530 and ST640 (Mathematical Statistics and Linear Models) and acing both as a testimony that I had the stuff. A bit of fast-talking and the department chair hesitantly admitted me.
In retrospect, signing up for grad school is the single greatest regret of my life. Not that the professors were nasty or anything like that. To their credit I think the Statistics Department and CSU still stands for rigor and integrity. I just didn't belong there. I tried to make the best of a bad thing, but my heart wasn't in it, and my grades reflected the fact. Coupled with a masters project that originated outside the department and had logistical and political problems, I finally fled after four years.
The five years in New York were the best of my life. I really grew and came to realize my strengths and capabilities. I left in 2002 not because I disliked New York, but I knew I had to go elsewhere to continue growing. All that time, however, my Mom continuously campaigned for me finish the degree. She had a valid point, considering that I'd already finished all the coursework, and it seemed like it would otherwise be a waste of four years. I just felt bitter because the degree was in a field I would never use, and it represented so much flailing around in my twenties while everyone else seemed to know what they were doing.
But I came to realize that I was hamstrung with this albatross still hanging on my neck. I could never truly commit to anything, especially after the move to LA, because I knew I had to finish the degree and that would take at least of month of uninterrupted time to do. I'll admit to several months of procrastination, but as anyone who's read my blog from the beginning would know, I finally went in there and finished it.
So now I finally sit thinking, unencumbered by this specter to which I had grown so accustomed, about the future. With the end of a year, the new SAG membership, the finished degree... there's potential for this to mark a new beginning—a new chapter. I just have to believe in it and light a fire under my butt.
By the way, I'm finishing this in Manhattan. I survived the trip without event. I'm sipping a Sakitini (Martini with Saki instead of Vermouth) and catching up with Bob. So I'm signing off now.
I'm still not sure how I feel about having finally vanquished that master's degree. It's been an ongoing anxiety of mine since almost the day I started it, almost eleven years ago. Back in 1992, having just graduated from Pomona College with some bitter feelings toward the world (which I may get into someday) I had started out with the ambition to be some sort of artist. At the time I thought I would be a musician. I spent an incredible summer proving myself in the corporate world as I tried to summon up enough money to pay to go to a music school.
The (flawed) logic was that in this desired departure from the math/science world that I had spent so many years preparing for, I should pick a strategically familiar medium. I'd studied piano for ten years before college, plus six years playing Trumpet in Junior High and High School, so I figured it gave me a tactical advantage. As I mentioned, I had an incredible summer in San Diego earning money for the upcoming schooling that would lead to my becoming some rock 'n roll star. Yeah right.
That endeavor had been such a failure (the school turned out to be a dumping ground for high school graduates who weren't going to college, whose parents had decided to accommodate, and who needed help learning how to read music. I had gone because I lacked the social skills and wanted to find a place that would help me hook up with people and join a band. It just wasn't a good idea and it only took a few months to realize my folly.
That left me in the dilemma of being a college graduate, supposedly self-sufficient with college loans that would need attention, and with no idea what to do with my life since the "sudden" desire to pursue the arts had already fallen into catastrophe. I fled home to Colorado, and with no better idea, I decided to pursue graduate school. My grades in college hadn't been all that good, so I took up the strategy of taking two (really hard) beginning courses ST530 and ST640 (Mathematical Statistics and Linear Models) and acing both as a testimony that I had the stuff. A bit of fast-talking and the department chair hesitantly admitted me.
In retrospect, signing up for grad school is the single greatest regret of my life. Not that the professors were nasty or anything like that. To their credit I think the Statistics Department and CSU still stands for rigor and integrity. I just didn't belong there. I tried to make the best of a bad thing, but my heart wasn't in it, and my grades reflected the fact. Coupled with a masters project that originated outside the department and had logistical and political problems, I finally fled after four years.
The five years in New York were the best of my life. I really grew and came to realize my strengths and capabilities. I left in 2002 not because I disliked New York, but I knew I had to go elsewhere to continue growing. All that time, however, my Mom continuously campaigned for me finish the degree. She had a valid point, considering that I'd already finished all the coursework, and it seemed like it would otherwise be a waste of four years. I just felt bitter because the degree was in a field I would never use, and it represented so much flailing around in my twenties while everyone else seemed to know what they were doing.
But I came to realize that I was hamstrung with this albatross still hanging on my neck. I could never truly commit to anything, especially after the move to LA, because I knew I had to finish the degree and that would take at least of month of uninterrupted time to do. I'll admit to several months of procrastination, but as anyone who's read my blog from the beginning would know, I finally went in there and finished it.
So now I finally sit thinking, unencumbered by this specter to which I had grown so accustomed, about the future. With the end of a year, the new SAG membership, the finished degree... there's potential for this to mark a new beginning—a new chapter. I just have to believe in it and light a fire under my butt.
By the way, I'm finishing this in Manhattan. I survived the trip without event. I'm sipping a Sakitini (Martini with Saki instead of Vermouth) and catching up with Bob. So I'm signing off now.
Posted at 01:55 PM Read More
Fri - December
12, 2003
Beware, I live!
I can't believe it. I'm really a bit numb. It's
over.
It's all over.
I guess a short recap would be suitable. I got up at 5:55am, fixed my oh-so-important cup of coffee, and finished preparing about 5 more overhead transparencies. I also printed up two extra copies of the paper (one had to have 1.5 spacing--the one that will be bound) and went through the slides a few times, figuring out in my head what I would say. I ended up with about 20 slides. The rule of thumb is you should plan 1 slide per 3 minutes of presentation. Given that it looked like I would go over the 40 minute target, but I figured I could wing it.
Mom was dutifully staying out of the way (she's so cute!) and it occurred to me that she wasn't going to come unless I invited her. (She's always afraid of being in the way.) I told her that if she wanted, then by all means she could attend the defense. It was like telling a child she could go to the Wal-mart of candy stores. So we got dressed up, and about 9:20am we got in the car.
Finding the room and setting up was uneventful. I was a bit nervous, not because I was worried about giving a good presentation, but simply because this represented the end of 10 years of work and waiting, etc. I think I had 10 people attend, which was about the right size. I certainly wouldn't have wanted any more. I gave the talk, which everyone remarkably seemed to be following, and I ran a bit overtime, but there weren't many questions so we hit that one-hour target square-on.
Then everyone was excused and it was just the committee and me. I'm sure these professors believe there is a right of passage with a masters defense, and so the actual "defending" part shouldn't be too easy. Two of the committee members were also pretty tough professors (very good in what they do, but pretty damned serious and tough in their standards of rigor) who I'd actually originally hoped I might surreptitiously remove from my committee (I'm no idiot) but given all the trauma and tragedy surrounding the last month, I owe them a debt of gratitude for sticking with me.
Let's just say that I didn't lose too much blood, and all the wounds are superficial. They will heal. In the end they all shook my hand, congratulated me and that was that.
Mom took my brother (who also attended) and me out to lunch at the Moot House. Then Mom and I ran around getting photocopies of one copy of the paper (it had to be double-sided) and getting the other copy to a book-binder in Loveland, CO. I returned the copy of the paper and the receipt for the book-binding (as proof it was being done) to the secretary, and THAT was it. I was finished and there isn't (knock on wood) and single form or signature left. I'll officially graduate with the Spring 2004 class.
Then I came home, had a super deep almost-coma power nap, and then it was off to the local Dean FAC at Tres Margaritas, where I talked a few ears off about the Dean campaign.
Now it's a little past 8:30. I have to pack a bag with clothes for about 5 days, and at 5:00am (ack!) tomorrow morning I'm being picked up and shuttled to the airport to go to New York City to visit my old friends out there.
And there really isn't anything else to report! I'll have my laptop with me, so I should probably be making journal posts whenever anything interesting happens. Take care everyone!
It's all over.
I guess a short recap would be suitable. I got up at 5:55am, fixed my oh-so-important cup of coffee, and finished preparing about 5 more overhead transparencies. I also printed up two extra copies of the paper (one had to have 1.5 spacing--the one that will be bound) and went through the slides a few times, figuring out in my head what I would say. I ended up with about 20 slides. The rule of thumb is you should plan 1 slide per 3 minutes of presentation. Given that it looked like I would go over the 40 minute target, but I figured I could wing it.
Mom was dutifully staying out of the way (she's so cute!) and it occurred to me that she wasn't going to come unless I invited her. (She's always afraid of being in the way.) I told her that if she wanted, then by all means she could attend the defense. It was like telling a child she could go to the Wal-mart of candy stores. So we got dressed up, and about 9:20am we got in the car.
Finding the room and setting up was uneventful. I was a bit nervous, not because I was worried about giving a good presentation, but simply because this represented the end of 10 years of work and waiting, etc. I think I had 10 people attend, which was about the right size. I certainly wouldn't have wanted any more. I gave the talk, which everyone remarkably seemed to be following, and I ran a bit overtime, but there weren't many questions so we hit that one-hour target square-on.
Then everyone was excused and it was just the committee and me. I'm sure these professors believe there is a right of passage with a masters defense, and so the actual "defending" part shouldn't be too easy. Two of the committee members were also pretty tough professors (very good in what they do, but pretty damned serious and tough in their standards of rigor) who I'd actually originally hoped I might surreptitiously remove from my committee (I'm no idiot) but given all the trauma and tragedy surrounding the last month, I owe them a debt of gratitude for sticking with me.
Let's just say that I didn't lose too much blood, and all the wounds are superficial. They will heal. In the end they all shook my hand, congratulated me and that was that.
Mom took my brother (who also attended) and me out to lunch at the Moot House. Then Mom and I ran around getting photocopies of one copy of the paper (it had to be double-sided) and getting the other copy to a book-binder in Loveland, CO. I returned the copy of the paper and the receipt for the book-binding (as proof it was being done) to the secretary, and THAT was it. I was finished and there isn't (knock on wood) and single form or signature left. I'll officially graduate with the Spring 2004 class.
Then I came home, had a super deep almost-coma power nap, and then it was off to the local Dean FAC at Tres Margaritas, where I talked a few ears off about the Dean campaign.
Now it's a little past 8:30. I have to pack a bag with clothes for about 5 days, and at 5:00am (ack!) tomorrow morning I'm being picked up and shuttled to the airport to go to New York City to visit my old friends out there.
And there really isn't anything else to report! I'll have my laptop with me, so I should probably be making journal posts whenever anything interesting happens. Take care everyone!
Posted at 08:41 PM Read More
Thu - December
11, 2003
6... 5... 4...
It's almost midnight. I've got 14 slides printed on
transparencies, and I think I'll be doing 4 more tomorrow morning. The defense
is at 10am. Wish me luck!
Posted at 11:25 PM Read More
10... 9... 8... 7...
Tomorrow is the masters defense. If I think about it I
clench up, so I'm just trying to thing about what's directly in front of me. I
finished the last draft of the paper last night (ironically, I'm sure nobody
will ever read it) and today is dedicated to assembling my overheads for the
presentation. (And planning the presentation.) Right now my mind is blank, but
I'm sure once I get rolling I'll know what to
do.
Only one thing diverts my attention today. It's a local (Ft Collins) news item but boy has it got me hopping mad. Recently the school board fired our school district's superintendent Don Unger under mysterious circumstances. Don Unger was a very successful and respected administrator who's been here since I was a kid. I would go as far as to say he was rather beloved by the community and our schools are some of the strongest in the nation. Moreover, he had just months before had his contract extended another 3 years.
Suddenly the school board held a meeting behind closed doors (one member in protest didn't attend) and announced that Unger was fired. In exchange for 3 years' pay (the length of his contract) he had to agree not to disclose any information as to the reason for the termination. The only thing that was disclosed was that the reasons were not due to any scandal, inappropriate behavior, sex-abuse charge, or anything like that. The newspapers suggest the most likely reason is that he ruffled some feathers when he made a controversial budget-cutting decision to move some administrative staff into new job positions within the schools. Some of this can be better explained in this letter to the editor of the local paper. There's also an interesting article that explains how ingenious the timing of this action had been, since many of the board members were stepping down anyway. Here's one more article that gives a general perspective of what happened.
What pisses me the hell off is that publicly elected officials think they can make bold decisions, but use the legal system to create some global gag order so nobody knows their reasons. If this had to do with some sex-scandal where a victim wanted anonymity I would have understood, but it seems to me rather that a bunch of power mongers don't have the guts to let the public know the reasons for their actions because they fear retribution. I pay taxes that support this school system, and they think they get to do things behind closed doors? No way!
Just to make things more ridiculous, the secret meeting that the school board had that booted Unger had no minutes taken because the secretary who was supposed to take minutes worked under Unger and it was deemed a conflict of interest for her to attend. (Mom told me this part; I haven't found it in any articles yet.) So in recap: a secret yet official meeting of elected officials was held, and a superintendent with a spotless record was removed from his job, with no minutes being taken, gag contracts signed, and no evidence of wrongdoing? Does this smell anything BUT rotten?
There has been an outcry and a challenge to this conspiracy. Although there were no minutes, a judge has subpoenaed the notes of the school board, and he will rule today whether this action was legal or not. (This comes from Mom.) I've found an article that states the legal challenge comes from the newspaper--way to go! I would really like to attend this hearing today, and Mom's going to go check and see if and where it can be attended.
But first importance is getting ready for the masters defense tomorrow.
Only one thing diverts my attention today. It's a local (Ft Collins) news item but boy has it got me hopping mad. Recently the school board fired our school district's superintendent Don Unger under mysterious circumstances. Don Unger was a very successful and respected administrator who's been here since I was a kid. I would go as far as to say he was rather beloved by the community and our schools are some of the strongest in the nation. Moreover, he had just months before had his contract extended another 3 years.
Suddenly the school board held a meeting behind closed doors (one member in protest didn't attend) and announced that Unger was fired. In exchange for 3 years' pay (the length of his contract) he had to agree not to disclose any information as to the reason for the termination. The only thing that was disclosed was that the reasons were not due to any scandal, inappropriate behavior, sex-abuse charge, or anything like that. The newspapers suggest the most likely reason is that he ruffled some feathers when he made a controversial budget-cutting decision to move some administrative staff into new job positions within the schools. Some of this can be better explained in this letter to the editor of the local paper. There's also an interesting article that explains how ingenious the timing of this action had been, since many of the board members were stepping down anyway. Here's one more article that gives a general perspective of what happened.
What pisses me the hell off is that publicly elected officials think they can make bold decisions, but use the legal system to create some global gag order so nobody knows their reasons. If this had to do with some sex-scandal where a victim wanted anonymity I would have understood, but it seems to me rather that a bunch of power mongers don't have the guts to let the public know the reasons for their actions because they fear retribution. I pay taxes that support this school system, and they think they get to do things behind closed doors? No way!
Just to make things more ridiculous, the secret meeting that the school board had that booted Unger had no minutes taken because the secretary who was supposed to take minutes worked under Unger and it was deemed a conflict of interest for her to attend. (Mom told me this part; I haven't found it in any articles yet.) So in recap: a secret yet official meeting of elected officials was held, and a superintendent with a spotless record was removed from his job, with no minutes being taken, gag contracts signed, and no evidence of wrongdoing? Does this smell anything BUT rotten?
There has been an outcry and a challenge to this conspiracy. Although there were no minutes, a judge has subpoenaed the notes of the school board, and he will rule today whether this action was legal or not. (This comes from Mom.) I've found an article that states the legal challenge comes from the newspaper--way to go! I would really like to attend this hearing today, and Mom's going to go check and see if and where it can be attended.
But first importance is getting ready for the masters defense tomorrow.
Posted at 09:17 AM Read More
Fri - December
5, 2003
Comparing Liberal and Conservative States
Last night I was pondering a few big questions about
the future of my business (as a computer consultant). I was first wondering if I
should convert from a Sole Proprietorship to either an LLC or S-Corp, and second
I didn't know which state I should claim residency under. You see, I own places
in Colorado and California, and I hope to be able to split my time between them.
Therefore, the question of which state owns my business's (and my personal) flag
should depend on which make better financial
sense.
Let me just mention right now how happy I am to no longer live in New York City for that (financial) reason. In NYC you get hit with federal, state AND CITY income tax, and their rates were rather high. From what I can tell, the City of Los Angeles has no such income tax.
I decided to look at the tax schedules for both Colorado and California to see which was higher. Both my mom and I guessed that Colorado would be more expensive. The results were interesting.
If you make only $20,000 in a year (which will be my situation this year) then in Colorado you would pay about TWICE AS MUCH state tax than in California. On the other hand, if you make $50,000 in a year, it swings the other way, where you'll pay a bit more tax in California than Colorado. I looked closer, and the intersection point was at exactly $40,000 that you would pay the same in both places.
In conclusion: California (a liberal and Democratic state) has much lower taxes for the poorer people, and Colorado (a conservative Republican state) has much lower taxes for the richer people. I didn't actually expect the result to be so obviously cut-and-dried! It just seems to support the notion that Republicans are all about tax cuts for the rich.
Let me just mention right now how happy I am to no longer live in New York City for that (financial) reason. In NYC you get hit with federal, state AND CITY income tax, and their rates were rather high. From what I can tell, the City of Los Angeles has no such income tax.
I decided to look at the tax schedules for both Colorado and California to see which was higher. Both my mom and I guessed that Colorado would be more expensive. The results were interesting.
If you make only $20,000 in a year (which will be my situation this year) then in Colorado you would pay about TWICE AS MUCH state tax than in California. On the other hand, if you make $50,000 in a year, it swings the other way, where you'll pay a bit more tax in California than Colorado. I looked closer, and the intersection point was at exactly $40,000 that you would pay the same in both places.
In conclusion: California (a liberal and Democratic state) has much lower taxes for the poorer people, and Colorado (a conservative Republican state) has much lower taxes for the richer people. I didn't actually expect the result to be so obviously cut-and-dried! It just seems to support the notion that Republicans are all about tax cuts for the rich.
Posted at 10:02 AM Read More
Wed - December
3, 2003
Getting Closer to Locking in the Date
Progress is slow, but steady. My one committee member
is back from New Zealand, and the department secretary is back from her short
vacation. It looks like the department chair will replace the professor whose
son just died (I'm going to the memorial this Saturday.) and we will try to get
the thing scheduled for next Friday, December 12th. Another professor is going
to meet me this Friday morning to go over suggestions and questions on my paper
which is welcome. That's the first indication I've had yet that anybody has even
read the thing. That'll give me work to do over this weekend and next
week.
And that's that.
Now that the deadline isn't as close as it was going to be I think I can relax my schedule a bit, maybe even call up some friends here in Fort Collins—I was being totally antisocial in order to make sure I'd be ready by Friday—and we'll see what else. I hope I can spend a little time up at Mom's cabin. Tonight I'll be going to the local Howard Dean Meetup and see what the Fort Collins Dean people are planning. Go Dean!
And that's that.
Now that the deadline isn't as close as it was going to be I think I can relax my schedule a bit, maybe even call up some friends here in Fort Collins—I was being totally antisocial in order to make sure I'd be ready by Friday—and we'll see what else. I hope I can spend a little time up at Mom's cabin. Tonight I'll be going to the local Howard Dean Meetup and see what the Fort Collins Dean people are planning. Go Dean!
Posted at 04:53 PM Read More
Mon - December
1, 2003
Truth is Stranger than Fiction
There is a curse on my masters degree. I'm sure of it.
And this curse has taken a turn for the tradgic
side.
There was a local 17 year old boy who died while hiking this weekend. I saw a news item about it on my Yahoo! news feed, and it was also in the local paper. I didn't read the article or I might have noticed the last name. It turns out to have been the son of one of my committee members. Obviously that puts a cork in trying to push a Friday defense date.
Another sad bit of news is that the researcher with whom I worked on my research project is not going to be available this week either because his father had a bicycling accident, broke his pelvis and had a hip replaced as well. This researcher isn't on my committee, but I'd hoped that I could spend some time with him doing some last-minute work on my paper. I guess not.
Fortunately the department head (who is supposed to be away on sabbatical) was in the office and overheard my questions as I was trying to find the secretary (who chose to be gone last Wednesday to my chagrin and apparently also today and tomorrow) and told me about the hiking accident. He knows that I drove here from L.A. with the need to defend this paper sometime in the next two weeks, and I trust he will do whatever is necessary to help make it happen.
So I'm still in limbo—hell, I'm a few fathoms deeper into limbo than before—but as we Mathematicians like to say, "A solution exists." For those of you who have a favorite deity, I would appreciate a good thought in your prayers. I can use all the fortune I can get.
There was a local 17 year old boy who died while hiking this weekend. I saw a news item about it on my Yahoo! news feed, and it was also in the local paper. I didn't read the article or I might have noticed the last name. It turns out to have been the son of one of my committee members. Obviously that puts a cork in trying to push a Friday defense date.
Another sad bit of news is that the researcher with whom I worked on my research project is not going to be available this week either because his father had a bicycling accident, broke his pelvis and had a hip replaced as well. This researcher isn't on my committee, but I'd hoped that I could spend some time with him doing some last-minute work on my paper. I guess not.
Fortunately the department head (who is supposed to be away on sabbatical) was in the office and overheard my questions as I was trying to find the secretary (who chose to be gone last Wednesday to my chagrin and apparently also today and tomorrow) and told me about the hiking accident. He knows that I drove here from L.A. with the need to defend this paper sometime in the next two weeks, and I trust he will do whatever is necessary to help make it happen.
So I'm still in limbo—hell, I'm a few fathoms deeper into limbo than before—but as we Mathematicians like to say, "A solution exists." For those of you who have a favorite deity, I would appreciate a good thought in your prayers. I can use all the fortune I can get.
Posted at 05:45 PM Read More
Sun - November 30, 2003
Safe Arrival
I pulled into my mom's driveway in Ft. Collins, CO a
few hours ago. It was a long drive, but I've done it a million times and the
weather was fair. Last night I stopped in at my cousin Lori's house in Salt Lake
City—always a treat. I also stopped in Laramie, WY near the end of the
trip to visit Jenny Ingram. All in all a nominal journey. Suffice to say I'm
exhausted, and although it's only a little after 9pm I'm dead
tired.
Tomorrow morning I get to show up in the Statistics department office, grin, and hope that the upcoming obstacles can all be handled. Of particular concern is the scheduling nightmare that I ranted about last week. I'm sure the worst case scenario, where I would be told "tough luck" and sent back to LA, in completely unlikely.
(That's the sound of me knocking on wood.)
I've informed the family that I will be doing NO family functions until Friday, especially when it comes to my nephews and niece. Once Friday is behind me, I will become a much more social and friendly person.
So now it's time to sleep and wake up really early in the morning for a fresh start. Next time I write I hope I'll have a much better idea of what I'm in for.
Tomorrow morning I get to show up in the Statistics department office, grin, and hope that the upcoming obstacles can all be handled. Of particular concern is the scheduling nightmare that I ranted about last week. I'm sure the worst case scenario, where I would be told "tough luck" and sent back to LA, in completely unlikely.
(That's the sound of me knocking on wood.)
I've informed the family that I will be doing NO family functions until Friday, especially when it comes to my nephews and niece. Once Friday is behind me, I will become a much more social and friendly person.
So now it's time to sleep and wake up really early in the morning for a fresh start. Next time I write I hope I'll have a much better idea of what I'm in for.
Posted at 08:17 PM Read More
Fri - November 28, 2003
I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane...
Okay, actually I'm leaving in a 2002 Silver-blue
Saturn named "Hedwig". Plans are set: at "oh-dark-thirty" in the morning
tomorrow (Saturday) I'll roll on out of here, up to Salt Lake City to spend the
evening with my Cousin Lori and her husband Eric—two incredibly fun
people—and then I'll make my way Sunday through Wyoming (or
"Wy-oh-my-gawd-it's-flat-ming") back to the
homestead.
Last night I watched "A Christmas Story" for the first time. I don't know where this social phenomenon came from, or why I'd never seen it before. I'm guessing it may come from the fact that I've never had cable TV. Anyway, it was interesting to watch. I think five years ago I wouldn't have been able to identify much with the movie. Having my nephews and niece, I've really been introduced to "little kids" for the first time since I was one.
And in some ways watching the movie turned on the homing beacon in the middle of my chest. I've been determined to spend Christmas in my home—Los Angeles—for once. My argument is that I'm never able to establish a proper "family" (meaning the friends and people I really spend my life with these days) because I'm always expected to return to Colorado where all my close relatives are. It was hard to hold my convictions while watching that movie, though. In fact, my roommate Hans was also watching it for the first time, and he decided then and there that in fact he was going back to the Midwest for Christmas after all.
I guess that's testimonial that it was a powerful movie.
Well, I'll be in Colorado for the first half of December. I don't see myself hanging around for a whole month. (Unless I drummed up some frequent-flier miles and flew back to New York for a week in between. Hmmmm.)
By the way, Thanksgiving "dinner" went nicely. The three pies (Apple, Blueberry and Pumpkin) all turned out well. I worked hard to make sure that we only ended up bringing two slices back home afterwards. It was a very fun and relaxing holiday spent with good friends. As you may have already observed in this posting, it was also a very reflective holiday; I think that's supposed to be the point of Thanksgiving. These people I spent Thanksgiving with were my new family. These are the people that I've found to surround myself with over the span of one year since I moved here.
And I've got to say I've done a pretty damn good job. Here's to another year!
Last night I watched "A Christmas Story" for the first time. I don't know where this social phenomenon came from, or why I'd never seen it before. I'm guessing it may come from the fact that I've never had cable TV. Anyway, it was interesting to watch. I think five years ago I wouldn't have been able to identify much with the movie. Having my nephews and niece, I've really been introduced to "little kids" for the first time since I was one.
And in some ways watching the movie turned on the homing beacon in the middle of my chest. I've been determined to spend Christmas in my home—Los Angeles—for once. My argument is that I'm never able to establish a proper "family" (meaning the friends and people I really spend my life with these days) because I'm always expected to return to Colorado where all my close relatives are. It was hard to hold my convictions while watching that movie, though. In fact, my roommate Hans was also watching it for the first time, and he decided then and there that in fact he was going back to the Midwest for Christmas after all.
I guess that's testimonial that it was a powerful movie.
Well, I'll be in Colorado for the first half of December. I don't see myself hanging around for a whole month. (Unless I drummed up some frequent-flier miles and flew back to New York for a week in between. Hmmmm.)
By the way, Thanksgiving "dinner" went nicely. The three pies (Apple, Blueberry and Pumpkin) all turned out well. I worked hard to make sure that we only ended up bringing two slices back home afterwards. It was a very fun and relaxing holiday spent with good friends. As you may have already observed in this posting, it was also a very reflective holiday; I think that's supposed to be the point of Thanksgiving. These people I spent Thanksgiving with were my new family. These are the people that I've found to surround myself with over the span of one year since I moved here.
And I've got to say I've done a pretty damn good job. Here's to another year!
Posted at 09:52 AM Read More
Thu - November 27, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!
I've got a group of friends who are doing Thanksgiving
"dinner" at 2pm this afternoon. The early time was set because most of the
people already had "full dance cards" and had to do other Thanksgiving
arrangements at other places. Part of me is jealous, but I did only get here in
L.A. a year ago. (Besides, I almost had another Thanksgiving dinner to go to,
although the couple ended up going North to have it with family.) Anyway, this
evening I'm hoping for a phone call and video conference from my friends Bryan
and Dale, respectively.
My part of Thanksgiving dinner is the dessert: pies. My favorite thing to cook in the world is dessert, and if I wasn't in danger of weighing like 3000 pounds I'd make it all the time. There's a simple joy I get out of just baking a chocolate cake, but seriously neither I nor my roommate want tempting sugar in the kitchen. I cooked a pumpkin pie last night, and once I finish writing this blog entry (and enjoying my coffee) I've got an apple and a blueberry pie to do.
I've actually never cooked a pie on my own. My mom used to help me out, but there's something much different to flying solo. I'm always afraid when I try to cook something for the first time, especially when it's something "standard" that should, in my opinion, be part of any American's cooking lexicon. I made my first impromptu "meat and potatoes" beef stew last week, and my first BBQ—roasting then shredding the meat, adding BBQ sauce, cooking longer—yesterday. It amazes me when these things actually turn out!
Speaking of new recipes, I just tried the version of the standard pie crust where you cut shortening into the flour and then add just a few tablespoons of ice water. Very interesting! I looks like it worked with the pumpkin pie last night. I'll be giving it a try with the other two in the next hour. If it turns out spectacular then I'll report back.
I've calmed down a lot about the masters degree stuff. I do hate spending the next four days in this zone of uncertainty, but I'll manage. I think I'm going to stuff myself in my car on Saturday, stay over in Salt Lake City with my cousin and arrive in Colorado on Sunday. Then I'll just plow ahead until everything is finished.
My part of Thanksgiving dinner is the dessert: pies. My favorite thing to cook in the world is dessert, and if I wasn't in danger of weighing like 3000 pounds I'd make it all the time. There's a simple joy I get out of just baking a chocolate cake, but seriously neither I nor my roommate want tempting sugar in the kitchen. I cooked a pumpkin pie last night, and once I finish writing this blog entry (and enjoying my coffee) I've got an apple and a blueberry pie to do.
I've actually never cooked a pie on my own. My mom used to help me out, but there's something much different to flying solo. I'm always afraid when I try to cook something for the first time, especially when it's something "standard" that should, in my opinion, be part of any American's cooking lexicon. I made my first impromptu "meat and potatoes" beef stew last week, and my first BBQ—roasting then shredding the meat, adding BBQ sauce, cooking longer—yesterday. It amazes me when these things actually turn out!
Speaking of new recipes, I just tried the version of the standard pie crust where you cut shortening into the flour and then add just a few tablespoons of ice water. Very interesting! I looks like it worked with the pumpkin pie last night. I'll be giving it a try with the other two in the next hour. If it turns out spectacular then I'll report back.
I've calmed down a lot about the masters degree stuff. I do hate spending the next four days in this zone of uncertainty, but I'll manage. I think I'm going to stuff myself in my car on Saturday, stay over in Salt Lake City with my cousin and arrive in Colorado on Sunday. Then I'll just plow ahead until everything is finished.
Posted at 09:27 AM Read More
Major Mile Marker in Master's Paper
It's a Big World
All or Nothing
Reverie of a Morning Person
SubCulture Array Deserves Due Credit
Report on Halloween
Apocalyptic Mood
Bring out your ghosts!
Night of the Panther, Masters Stuff, Housekeeping etc.
Update - much more relaxed.
Stress is a liquid I can pour like my morning cup of coffee.
Walking toward the light.
Reflections on the last 10 days.
Catching up